Forgiving Regularly

At the outset of Bible study, I stated things as they were: "____, you should probably lead our Bible study group because it's been a rough day."

And it had been. I thought that today, of all days this week, would be a good one - with state testing in the morning, the only classes I would see today would be the 6th grades.

Awesome...or so I thought...

To say I missed my 8th graders today would not be a lie. (And that alone speaks volumes of how my day turned out.)

Those 6th graders really pushed my buttons today. They just would not stop talking. I feel they think that because they're testing they don't have to learn anything new this week. (I'm sorry, but if that were the case, why bother still being in school for the rest of each day after the morning's testing is up?) It's true they don't have any homework, but that doesn't mean it's time for free reign in the classroom and low levels of respect, does it? I hope it doesn't take someone(s) getting silent lunch or being sent to the principal's office to wake up the rest of the class, but that just might be the case.

I know testing is hard. And I know that finishing early and having to sit there and stupidly stare at your test when you finished 10-15 minutes early is tough. Silence is hard. I get it. But self-control needs to happen. Respect needs to happen.

At the end of the day, I felt like Tom Hanks would have yelled at me, "There's no crying in teaching!"

Like hell there's not. I cry (not a fountain of tears, mind you) - not out of weakness but out of frustration because I care. I want the students to do better because I know they can do better.

I cry because I forgive them. Over. And over. And over. Each day is a brand new start.

I cry because I want to figure out how to make them see how blessed they are when what's really clouding their vision is a sense of entitlement and worry over if so-and-so is going to text them later. I want them to be kind to one another and I want them to show respect for God.

Maybe it's a lot to ask. But maybe our world is not demanding these things enough...

Here's hoping that tomorrow is a better day...