A leader's lesson in humility

I will wholeheartedly admit that when I received the list of students whom I would be interviewing for Confirmation today I was slightly disappointed. These were 8th graders who I did not really know, ones who were kind of on the quiet side, ones who I considered out of all of them didn't care as much about their faith.

One girl in particular I was worried about. And, as we got ready for her group's turn, she informed me she had not brought her service journal for our religious ed director/Confirmation coordinator. I told her I would write her name down so he knew to follow up with her tomorrow, and I thought rather sarcastically to myself, This is going to be fun.

The first question I asked to break the ice, as it seemed rather low stakes to me, was about who they had each picked as their Confirmation Saint and why. Responses were similar, as names, on a whole, were chosen to honor a relative or because the Saint had stuck with them from a younger age. When everyone else in this particular group had shared, the girl (whom I had my doubts about) spoke up. She said, "This may seem like a silly reason (at which point my head jumped to, Oh boy, she chose the name because it sounded cool - I've had that happen before)... but I took the name Novena because it represents how the Apostles waited nine days for the Holy Spirit and I need to learn how to wait in my life for the Holy Spirit because I need it, especially as I go to high school."

I think my jaw dropped.

(And, if I could have kicked or slapped myself, I would have.)

As my conversation with the students continued, she shared about the influence of her grandma's faith on her own life and for her desire to be more involved in the parish. She was so genuine, and her thoughts were so deep.

How had I been so judgmental? (And why, in the past, have I prided myself on not judging people?) Here I was thinking because she got in trouble in school and didn't always get the best grades academically that she didn't have much of a faith life; yet, I would wager her faith is stronger than mine.

I was both deeply saddened and humbled by our conversation. I had underestimated one of our students, and she showed me through her thoughtful reflection and honesty how much of her heart and mind that I had not yet seen this year. And I know today was still only scratching at the surface.

I knew that I failed as a school leader today, even if it was on the inside where no one else could see but me. But I also knew I learned a valuable lesson - never underestimate or throw out anyone, especially a student. Everyone has something to say, and people are often not who they first appear to be without taking the time to get to know them.

And everyone needs someone to believe in them, ask the right questions, step back, and watch them shine.

A Lesson in Humility

This past week's Catholicism lesson focused on prayer, so we had a lot to discuss at our table groups. (There never seems to be enough time to get to all the good stuff!) 

Many good thoughts were shared, but I took away something even more important for my own relationship with God: What's hindering your prayer life? Lack of humility.

When I think of my life, I don't go out of my way to seek the praise of others, but if I do something (especially a BIG something) and some people fail to recognize it or be grateful for it, then I get upset and worry that it didn't make a difference. And, while I've worked on it, I often find myself worried about what I'll say to someone else in conversation rather than listen and respond based on what the other person said. In addition, as I mentioned in my small group on Monday, I pray for others, but I don't pray for others enough. So much tends to creep in about me, me, me...and then my thoughts have wandered without my awareness...

In today's Gospel, we hear about the Annunciation of Jesus' birth to Mary, and we hear Mary's yes. She was humbled before God and did not seek any means of glory on her own. She said yes to God, and, at that moment, she turned all eyes toward God with her words, "let it be done to me according to your word."

It's like all the wake-up calls about humility are hitting at once. (I think it was either Fr. Barron's podcast homily this week or Fr. Mike's podcast homily that focused on humility too.) And it's quite revolutionary - I didn't realize how much I had shifted the focus to myself and my feelings/reactions. My main goal needs to be God - letting God's goodness and light shine through me so that I may lead others to God...

Humbling Ourselves Before the Lord

"God wants us to humble ourselves, not to degrade us, but so that he can exalt us. To be humble is to recognize the truth that God is the source of our existence, our sustenance, and our dignity. This faithful recognition opens us to the revelation that God is a God of love..."

from The Magnificat Year of Faith Companion

In my (humble) opinion, I believe that being a teacher is one of the most humbling careers someone could have. Each day, we draw from our own experiences, faults, and failings so students may, in turn, learn from us and the things we have done. It is humbling, also, that students daily find many mistakes, from typos on an outline handout to lines in front of test answers that don't need ones to completely messing up the schedule.

But, as the reflection reminds us, God doesn't want to degrade us - nor does he want us to think less of ourselves. Humility is thinking of ourselves less so that we may think of God (and his creation) more.

It makes me think of this C.S. Lewis quote (that I end up sharing with just about everyone, especially in retreat or small faith-sharing group settings):

Now, let us turn our eyes toward the Father and to Jesus Christ, who sacrificed Himself to save us, as we prepare to enter this most Holy Triduum and Jesus' Resurrection at Easter...