And then there were tears

One of the seventh graders in the other advisory came up to me in the hallway this morning before the bell, stared up at me and said, "I'm going to miss you next year." Then, she walked in the room.

After advisory, a handful of my students stayed behind to show me a slideshow they had put together (of my smiles and shoes - go figure). The last slide featured a photo of the whole class from the Christmas show, and at the bottom it read "Good luck Miss Foyle."

Some sixth grade students came in and told me they had built me a church. (Really, it was a re-purposed Social Studies project, but it's the thought that counts.) On the roof of the church they had signed their names and written things like "we'll miss you next year" and "Jesus loves you."

At dismissal yesterday and again today a few parents confronted me. One looked at me with sad eyes and pleaded, "Tell me it's not true." She then went on to ask about my new position and said while she would be sad to see me go that she was happy for me. Another parent just kind of gave me the eye, and I just started spilling. She, too, was glad for me, but asked, "Couldn't you have waited two more years till my daughter graduates?"

To say I made an easy or right choice in leaving would be a lie - it's definitely not easy, and there is no "right" choice to be made. But I think the change is one that will be good for me, even if it's particularly difficult now as we are approaching the final days of school. I have found myself packing up seven years of my teaching career into boxes, deciding what comes with me and what stays. (That's been particularly difficult with all of my books, let me tell you!) So many memories...

But, you know, it isn't "goodbye." It's more like "see you later." It's not like last time where I picked up and moved across the country from Phoenix to Chicago - that was more like "goodbye." (And that, in all honesty, was one of the hardest things I've ever done.) I know I'll find my way back to cheer the kids on at a basketball game or go to family Mass or see the school play. I told the seventh graders that I would do my best to come to their Confirmation (and hopefully graduation) - and they all smiled and were excited about that. There's a fine balance, though - I know I can't hold on too tight. If I do, I risk not jumping in with both feet to my new community, and I can't bear the thought of not being present for them even though I don't even know them yet.

So, hand me the box of Kleenex and give me a shoulder to cry on. Help me take a step back and realize it will be all right. Help me be grateful, and help me have courage.

Change is natural and it's necessary. With change comes the opportunity for challenge and growth. And, to paraphrase Coach Taylor from "Friday Night Lights" (which I have been binge-watching these past few weeks), with clear eyes and a full heart, I can't lose.

Ready for a change

As I sit here writing my rent check for June, it's hard to believe another month has come and gone. Time really seems to fly at the end of the school year; though, this year I wish it would slow down just a little.

You see, after ten years of teaching I am stepping out of the classroom and into the role of assistant principal...at a different school. (I'm telling the students this Tuesday - pray for us!) I am excited about the new role, but I know there will be things about the classroom and my current school that I will miss. (It's been 7 years at the same school in Chicago - that's a long time!) When I was on the first round of the interview process, one of the interviewers (who was a board member and parent) asked me what I would miss most. Without skipping a beat, I said, "Well, I definitely won't miss the lesson planning or grading." Yes, I was cracking jokes at the interview...and they still asked me back. (When I told my mom, she said, "You're your father's daughter." Yep, guess so.)

In all seriousness, though, change is hard...but it's inevitable, especially if we want to grow and are open to the possibilities. I've thought a lot about this over the weekend - I have the honor to give one of the commencement retreat talks for my classmates this summer (and I wrote the first draft this weekend), and the focus is on how we've been changed (in light of the Gospel about the Road to Emmaus). I like to think of change like Mary Poppins: you come into a place not knowing anyone, you build relationships, especially with the kids, you fall in love with your job and many things about the people and way things work, but, when the winds change, you find it’s time to move on. You hope the changes you made will be carried on, and you trust that the kids will be alright. And you pack your bags - for me, personally, it will be a hell of a lot of boxes of books - and you move on to where your love is needed next. Memories about you and what you did slowly fade over time, but that’s okay because you realize it was never really about you in the first place.

So, these next few weeks I'll be packing up and moving on, who knows for how long or where the road will lead me next. I just have to trust that God will continue to guide my steps, and that God will give me the wisdom and courage to be where I am needed and to continue to learn and grow.

In other news:

May was a full yet fun month (and there are still a few days to go). Here are some pictures from the marathon weekend and ice cream crawl to prove it:

Marathon expo fun

We carbed up for the marathon at our go-to, Olive Garden.

Pentecost Sunday - Come Holy Spirit!

When you get a PR, you get to ring the bell.

We did it!

beautiful tulips in Green Bay

concert at Space with Marisa and Patrick

3rd annual ice cream crawl - stop #1 (Jeni's)

stop #2 (Oberweiss)

stop #3 (Bobtail)

stop #4 (Paciugo)

Summer's almost here - I can taste it. Cheers to that!

What happens when your twin sister comes to school?

My sister's been very busy with First Communion-related events (yay!) with her students this weekend, but she took a break on Saturday night to come out to my school's performance of Peter Pan, Jr.

All week my middle school students were extremely excited that my sister would be in attendance. (Some of them were quite distressed when she wasn't with me before the show began - she was coming separately a little closer to curtain time.) They knew I had a twin, but most of the 6th and 7th graders had never met her previously...

Student A: How will we know which one is the real Miss Foyle?
Me: It will be easy. She won't know your names.

Student B: What's her name?
Me: Miss Foyle...for now.
Student B: No, like her real name?
Me: Miss Foyle. :)


The show was quite a spectacle, as it usually is, and afterwards my sister, her fiance (yes, he came too - what a trooper!), and I were still in our seats waiting for the crowd to thin so we could go congratulate the students. Lo and behold, some 6th graders found us, and they definitely had more enthusiasm than they knew what to do with. When I introduced them to my sister and her fiance, they shifted gears to asking about the wedding:

Student A: Are you going to be in the wedding, Miss Foyle?
Me: (Sarcastically) No.
Student A: (laughs)
Student B: Are you going to hold flowers?
Me: Yes.

Meanwhile, another 6th grader walked up. She was more composed and calm. The girls we had been speaking with were trying to fill her in on the wedding, but this young lady was trying to make a deeper connection...

Student C (one who just walked up): That's your sister and her fiance? So, that's her vocation, right Miss Foyle - married life?
I wanted to hug that girl right there and then - yes! That's exactly what we've been talking about in religion class the past week - the 4 vocations as taught by the Church.
Me: Yes, that's exactly right. Her vocation is married life.



I'll admit, I run into a challenge every year when I teach the students about vocations because I'm not quite sure I've found my own yet. (That's right, I'm 32 years old and still not sure what God wants me to do with my life.) Questions from the students come from a place of genuine curiosity, but I don't have the answers, and, quite frankly, it makes me a little uneasy:

Miss Foyle, are you going to get married? (Maybe?)
Miss Foyle, are you committed single life? (I'm not sure about that one.)
Miss Foyle, have you thought about becoming a nun? (Yes, but that was a long time ago.)
Miss Foyle, if you could become a priest would you? (Probably not...)

There is one vocation, though, that all of us share, and that is a universal call to love (which we are getting to this week and next), and this is a vocation I strive to live out every day. Love is a choice; love is willing the good of the other, even those we do not particularly like or with whom we may be frustrated at any given moment. As Jesus says in the Gospel of John, "Love one another as I have loved you."

So, at least for now, I'll focus on this vocation of love - goodness knows there are endless opportunities to practice it during the school day. And, through continued prayer and discernment, I trust God will more clearly show me my other vocation as well...

And so we fight on

If you ask a teacher (especially at a Catholic school) why he/she went into education, I guarantee you it wasn't for the money. If it was, then that person is either pulling your leg or needs to have his/her head examined. Instead, many teachers would likely share some sentiment about wanting to make a difference or wanting to work with young people.

It's selfless and noble, if you think about it. We need more people in our world with such desire.

The challenge with this idea, though, is that there are many days that leave teachers feeling frustrated, disheartened, or downright defeated. Students (and parents) question your decisions, valuable class time is lost, students don't turn in their homework...

And teachers think,

Did anything I say stick with them today? 

Am I actually a good teacher? 

I don't get paid enough for this...

I was going through some of these same thoughts after a few episodes with one class in particular this week. (And I was even absent from school on Tuesday, so I didn't even see my students that day.) I had just made a concentrated effort to help students learn about the Mass, and I overheard some of them this morning excited that they didn't have to go due to the fact that it was canceled because of inclement weather. Talk about disheartening...

But, as I was sitting at my desk this afternoon, I had the urge to pick up the Holy Cross prayer book I was given through my grad school program, and I turned to today's reflection. Here it is in part:

If the book would have fallen on my head I don't think I would have gotten the message any clearer. The reflection says that "we will make a difference if we have the devotion, the generosity, and the faith..." (emphasis added) We have to trust in God that we are right where we need to be and to respond to this understanding with surrender and love.

So, yes, there will be times when students just don't seem to get it or when we go through things for the seemingly twentieth time. But they really do hear...and the seeds are being planted. It's definitely important to remind ourselves of this from time to time.

I was also reminded that none of us works in isolation to make a difference - together with parents, fellow teachers (past, present, and future), their classmates, and others, we are all part of a much bigger picture. It's truly a team effort. 

Catholic school teachers make a difference, yes, but it's not about a difference for our own purposes, for we are only able to do that which God makes us able to do.We are making a difference in terms of building up the Kingdom of God.

So, to all of my Catholic teacher and leader friends, keep fighting the good fight - our students are saints in the making!

Time Out! Time to Reset.

I like long walks on the lakefront...
That may sound silly,
like something you'd put on a dating website profile,
but, for me, it's necessary
because it's good for my soul.
A long run, a long bike ride, a long hike -
all of these serve this purpose too.
Just give me time and the great outdoors,
and God will do the rest.

I took myself for a walk today,
as I know the rains and colder temperatures will come tomorrow,
and I will be stuck inside.
I took a break from my school law exam -
my brain just couldn't handle it.
I wanted to clear my mind...

I wanted to breathe in the fresh, beautiful air
and to soak in the sunshine.
I didn't see a cloud in the sky,
but of course I can't show you that,
as I left my phone behind
and had no means by which to capture a photo.
Sometimes I think I spend too much time
trying to get the picture "just right"
instead of being present.
I'm working on this.
I left my watch behind too -
I went at my own pace
with no real destination
except to eventually come back home before the sun set.

I saw so many people out and about.
And dogs. Lots of dogs.
It made me want a dog.
Flowers lined many of the streets,
or, sometimes, there was just a single flower all alone.
I even saw more tulips -
Did you know they close up at night?
Still, they are magnificent.

I talked to God on my walk, too.
I've had a lot on my mind recently
and my list of people to pray for
is growing longer by the day.
God sees everything -
how freeing it is when we lay it all before Him.
He loves us in our brokenness -
and sometimes I feel truly broken -;
He forgives us and heals us.
He strengthens us and loves us.
I was overwhelmed.

As I sit here at my dining room table,
I think about the week ahead,
though I know I still have Sunday to work and relax.
There is much to accomplish before the next weekend comes around.
Because of this
I am truly grateful for my short walk today.
I needed to breathe and relax.
I needed to reset and to remember the bigger picture
instead of getting caught up in my to-dos.

Thank you, God, for this day.
And thank you for the grace to realize Your presence.

When does life become too busy?

If ever again I think it's a good idea to tackle grad school, coach a sport, run a marathon, and help plan a wedding in the same year, someone please make sure I get my head examined.

At times, when my schedule comes up in conversation, it becomes almost comical -->

Friend at church: Oh, so once you're done with grad school, you can start coaching again, right?
Me: I'm coaching volleyball this spring.
Friend: And you're training for your marathon.
Me: Yep.
Friend: Wait, so what hobby are you going to take up next year?
Me: Guitar?

And this one -->

Principal: What are you going to do with all your free time next year once grad school is over?
Me: Maybe I'll finally get a life.

And people wonder why I haven't been dating recently.

It's not that I regret any of it - as you can see, I apparently love being busy. But, in all honesty, I'm not quite sure what I was thinking. (Though, in all fairness, the combo of grad school and my sister's wedding was not part of the deal when I started Remick.) But, at times I worry because being so busy is exactly what got me into trouble last year - I wasn't able to take the time and space to just sit with my thoughts and reflect on what was happening in my life, especially in some of my relationships.

I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel (at least this one currently in front of me - who knows when the next tunnel will start), though - I've only one more paper (granted, it's a big one) due for grad school this semester, and the marathon is just about two weeks away. Once my sister's bridal shower is over, the only thing I'll really need to worry about for the wedding is working on my speech. And, perhaps best of all, I am turning off my phone and going on a camping road trip right after school gets out. Talk about finding time and space to clear your head!

Being busy (with the right things that give life meaning and purpose) is good, but there is such a thing as being too busy (even with lots of the "right stuff") in my humble opinion. Here's hoping that I can find that balance sooner rather than later.

And then, just maybe I will finally get a life...