Finding God

There's something about the crisp air,
the wind dancing across your skin -
making your hair do crazy things...
The way the sun breaks through the clouds,
the shadows cast by the trees,
the sound of the waves,
and the chance to 
just
be 
still.

I've never felt so close to God
as when I am out in nature,
be it on top of an Arizona mountain
or on a beach back home,
whether it is running on the lakefront path
or reading a book on the back porch in the shade...
Or,
one of my personal favorites,
staring up at the countless constellations
after dad has pulled the car off the highway in Michigan
so we can all gaze at the beauty above us,
maybe even catching a glimpse
of a shooting star.

No matter what
it takes your breath away
each time
if you let it.
It's incomparable beauty
given to us
by God.
It's ours to enjoy,
to care for,
to cherish,
and to share.

And so,
we breathe in each new day
with open hearts and hands.
Even if just
for the briefest of moments,
a prayer of gratitude hangs in the air,
as we offer ourselves
up to God
and ask Him
to hear our prayers
and watch over us 
as morning breaks
and we start full speed ahead,
assured that God is always waiting for us
if we know where to look for Him.

Recognizing Gifts

At this time last year, I was lucky if I was able to run 2 or 3 miles - I was in process of getting back into running at an excruciatingly slow pace after discovering that I had plantar fasciitis. I had gone to physical therapy, got a shot of cortisone in my foot (which I will not forget the pain of any time soon), and resigned myself to mostly just using the bike at the gym.

Yet, with perseverance and, yes, a dose of stupidity, I was able to run 20 miles with my sister this past Saturday as part of my training for an upcoming spring marathon. (Surprisingly, I'm not too sore today - woo hoo!) If that's not a miracle, I don't know what is! I am so grateful to friends who have suggested shoes, inserts, and other ideas for mitigating the pain along the way - I wouldn't still be running today if it wasn't for them.

Sometimes, we get knocked on our butts, and it is only then we realize that we often take our abilities for granted. It is only then that we realize we can't rely on our own strength - we need God, and we need others.

For me, it wasn't until I had to learn to deal with the reality of plantar fasciitis that I realized what a gift being able to run (however fast or slow on a given day) truly is. And I pray that I don't need something quite so drastic any time soon to remember that no ability (or person, for that matter) should ever be taken for granted.

On my heart...

As I sat in Mass this morning, I realized that something has been on my heart for awhile, and I am really struggling with it... There is so much our Catholic faith teaches us about love of neighbor and the corporal works of mercy, but I personally fall short of living these out on a regular basis.

It's so easy for me to like or tweet an article/quote about serving others or to pass along different service opportunities (engaging myself in them from time to time, yes), but, when it comes down to it, am I walking the talk? And I don't even necessarily mean doing service projects - how am I helping and interacting with people in my own community, how am I getting my hands dirty in God's work? I've used the excuse of grad school taking up my time for far too long - by no means have those in charge of my leadership program set out to drown us in content so much so that we fail to have time and opportunities to live out what we study, to be Jesus for others.

Why is it so hard to act with consistent efforts? Why has love of neighbor become something we admire others doing or something we reserve for the first Saturday of the month? I, sadly, don't think I'm alone in feeling this. I think it's a reality for others too. We're paralyzed because we don't know what to actually do, we get caught up in the busyness of life so as we pass by on genuine care and need of others, we get caught up in the "drama" of our own lives...

So, what now? What do I (we) need to do so that my (our) actions speak louder than words? I know the first answer should probably be to (continue to) bring this to prayer. But then...? Is it a matter of little actions, making a conscience effort each day to do one more thing than the day before to help me (us) become closer to those around me (us)?

I feel like I am just throwing out ideas, and I apologize if those ideas don't seem to be going anywhere, but I just can't seem to get it off my heart. So, I appreciate you letting me put my thoughts (however jumbled and raw) on paper, and I ask that you pray for me and anyone else who is struggling to understand what it looks like to more authentically live the Gospel in daily life. Thank you.

Looking Back and Looking Ahead

While a part of me wants to curl up in a ball and not think about everything coming up in the next few weeks with grad school, report cards, conferences, etc., I just had an amazing weekend of relaxation and all things tourist-y, so there's no excuse for complaining or not having the energy to face what's heading my way...

Here's some wisdom I took away from the weekend.

1. Winter weather tends to follows us...it even came all the way to St. Louis. We find ourselves asking, Why train in a year offering good weather and no snow when you can challenge yourself like this?...

2. Make sure, like a good tourist, you visit the Arch and go all the way to the top...

MO = 33rd state, apparently

Sometimes my photo skills turn out pretty cool

car #3

view from the top

same view...but with the window we looked from

on our way up (in car #3)

view from the top

smiles under the Arch

3. Eat well...and often...especially when your friend tells you of a taco and ice cream place - yes, both served in the same place. What a great adventure!

peppermint mocha...mmm...

4. Enjoy an evening on the town...preferably with music.

5. Have a little fun with camera filters, too...

6. Make sure to catch up with other friends in the area, admire fun drink menus, get a taste of history, and enjoy the local hot spots.

Look closely at the woman at the far table - she was NOT happy...

Missouri History Museum - Civil Rights exhibit

Urban Chestnut

7. And don't forget to celebrate the reason for whom you have the day off from school - the presidents! What better way to do so than with this classic film, 1776?!

Phew! After that long car ride home today, I am very much exhausted and ready for bed. I do have some grad school work to do before that can happen, though, so I better get to it. I hope you have a wonderful week!

A Special Day

Student: Miss F, I didn't know you played soccer growing up!
Me: You never asked...
Student: Yeah, I know.

What a wonderful day we had in 7th grade - we took a break from our normal school routine and, instead, had the opportunity to help out with Special Olympics Chicago, an organization helping children and adults with cognitive disabilities.

Today, the sport was soccer, and the students were assigned to skills stations, where they explained the skill, timed the athletes, and kept score. By their standards, the skills seemed simple, and that only reinforced the idea that we often take our abilities for granted. It was pure joy to see the athletes running around, dribbling and shooting the ball, and receiving their awards. They had such a great time!

And our students were smiling a lot too - they really stepped up, showing leadership and responsibility at their respective stations. And, when the event itself was over, they had some time to let loose in a pick up soccer game. (We got to play around a bit before the event too - I was with the group on Field 3, and it just felt good to juggle and kick around the soccer ball. It's been forever!...and it doesn't take much to impress those kiddos...)

I am so grateful for the volunteer opportunity today, and I look forward to helping out at more events in the future. My heart is so happy.

Roses are red...

Where is this going? I thought as our visiting priest started to share a Valentine's Day message sent to Cardinal Cupich this week.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Valentine's Day is great...

But it's ashes for you.

I see what they did there...


Leave it to my dad to send the years that Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day have overlapped and will overlap - in case you were wondering, the last time it happened was 1945, but it happened before that in both 1923 and 1934. Apparently it will happen again in 2024 and 2029. (I didn't double check if he was right on these - just trusting...)

I must say, though, I was highly confused driving down my block today and seeing a line practically out the door at Stan's Donuts - I couldn't figure out why so many people would want donuts on a day traditionally set aside for fasting... And then I remembered it was also Valentine's Day. Well, that made perfect sense!

At school we actually celebrated Valentine's Day a day early on Fat Tuesday so as not to lose focus on the three pillars of Lent. (It was highly suggested from the Archdiocese.) I didn't get too many treats - just enough chocolate - though, one student did bring a homemade paczki!

One of my favorite student valentines was one a 6th grader made into a scratch-off:

One of my advisory students was a day late (by our calendar) and brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers today - it was such a delightful start to the morning before Mass:

I also got a cute note on a student's assessment this afternoon:

It was a beautiful (early) Valentine's Day, to be sure. The kids are so funny about it - one student asked if I had a special valentine this year, to which I replied, "Jesus." Well, let me tell you, that made his day!

But, when it was time to go to Mass, our focus shifted...

And you can bet money on the fact that I wore purple...

Our visiting priest continued his homily (which he had started with that poem - yes, I'm back to talking about that all the way down here...). He explained that the Catholic church has nothing against Valentine's Day; it is just that the solemn start of the Lenten season takes precedence. He then encouraged us that no matter how we choose to fast, pray, or do extra things this Lent, that we do so with sincere hearts in an effort to draw closer to God.

His message was just what I needed to hear, and I hope the kiddos were listening too! It reinforces a piece of wisdom I shared with them the other day that was once told to me: If you find yourself at the end of Lent the same as when you started, you've done Lent wrong.

God wants us - He wants our whole heart. So, how will we use this Lenten season to make more room for God in order to allow Him to draw us closer?

We have 40 days to make it happen - our time starts now.

What Would You Fight For?

We are in a fight for Catholic education...so, in one of my grad school classes this semester, the professors asked us why we are part of this fight. For me, there are so many reasons, some more easily able to be articulated than others, but I finally got my response (which is actually a script for a video) down to what I've pasted below.

I have to admit, it's good to think about what we stand and fight for from time to time, as it helps us stay focused and striving toward our goals.

And so, even when times are hard, we keep fighting the good fight...

When I think about why I have chosen to fight for Catholic education, I think of Pedro Arrupe and his “Fall in Love” prayer. He says, Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.

It’s simple, really. I’m in love...with God. And, when you are in love with someone, you want to share that love with everyone. As a Catholic school teacher, helping kids come to know, love, and serve God is part of my job. Who else gets to say that?

Pedro Arrupe continues: (What you are in love with) will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,

The coffee helps the getting out of bed, sure, but I am, for the most part, excited to get to school each day. I am living out a vocation that challenges me to grow and learn about the faith on a regular basis because I work with middle school students who ask incredibly deep questions to which I do not have all of the answers. I show up every day for my students, prepared with lessons and activities to try to engage them about the faith, and, when I need them most, they show up for me in the most beautiful ways as well - with artwork, with smiles, or with hugs.

Arrupe explains: (What you are in love with) will decide what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends,

How many weeknights have I found myself at a middle school basketball game or weekends at a school play, Mass, or other activity? I’m not there because I have to be. I’m there because of my students - all of the ones I have ever taught and all of the ones, God-willing, I will one day teach. I love them, and I love seeing them participate in activities they are passionate about because that is part of who they are and it helps to build character.

Pedro Arrupe goes on: (What you are in love with will decide) what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Children help us as adults recognize beauty found in the simple things, pointing out the sunshine after cloudy days or finding a deeper meaning in a quote posted for the day’s journal warm-up. Every day is a gift, and they realize that. As a Eucharistic minister at the school Masses, I watch the students as they come up to receive communion, and I see Jesus in each one of them. And I am overwhelmed. These students are entrusted to our care, and they are saints in the making.

...Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything. The poem finishes.

For the past 10 years I have fallen deeper in love with God, my students, and Catholic education. I realize the goal of the Christian life is to get to heaven and to bring as many people with you as possible. As a Catholic school teacher, I feel that I work for this goal every day. This is why I am here and why I believe in Catholic education.

Simply Present

No role at Mass tonight - just me in the pew. While I have loved training to be and starting to serve as a sacristan on Sundays, there is something to be said for getting to be simply present at church... 

As a sacristan, I have found myself tallying attendees during the readings rather than listening to what is being spoken. The time I spend setting out the chalices, cutting the bread, and doing other preparations the hour before Mass is time I do not now spend in prayer in the traditional sense. It's a beautiful ministry, and I by no means regret becoming a part of it, but it's a different kind of presence, and I just need to adjust accordingly.

I am so grateful for the gift of Mass and the Eucharist as well as for the gift of my church community. And I look forward to the start of our new liturgical season - Lent. Guess it's time to pull all of my purple clothes to the front of my closet, eh?

A Week in Review...in Pictures

The school parent association kept the sweet treats (and puns) coming this week...

The treats culminated in a lovely luncheon on Friday - complete with a treat take-home box...only mine didn't make it home. 😏

Some lovely notes/post-its from parents and students were a welcome surprise and very affirming.

And the students designed doorstops for all of the faculty using the 3D printer - each doorstop was unique, so, clearly, as the religion teacher I got a cross. I LOVE it!

The best part of the week (and best Mass of the year, hands down) was Confirmation. It was a beautiful Mass. I had never met Bishop Rojas before, as this was his first visit to our parish. And the students all looked dapper and beautiful all dressed up. I can't believe this crew is in 8th grade - it sounds cliche, but it seems like only yesterday I was coaching these girls in volleyball in 4th grade, back when they couldn't even make a good pass or serve the ball over the net. Time flies!

After Confirmation I decided to go to the grocery store. As I was getting in my car, I spotted the license plate below. Now, I understand he was probably a Minnesota fan (and no doubt thought I was creepy for taking a photo of his license plate), but I think he might also support twin siblings too.

This morning's alarm came way too early, but it was worth it - we kicked off our marathon training today by running (nearly) 14 miles. We ended our run at Jeni's, where they were celebrating National Ice Cream for Breakfast Day. (Yes, it's a national holiday - I can't make this stuff up.) To warm up we got coffee next door at Starbucks directly afterwards so we wouldn't freeze on our respective walks home. Brr...

There's a bit of work to be done for my Church docs class before I head to trivia tonight for my sister's school. It's always a ton of fun, so I can't wait! It's good to have a few excuses to relax this weekend. I hope you have a few good things planned too...