Problem-Solving Toward a Solution

When one of my rather reserved students flew past me at recess today shouting a resounding "No!" to her friends, I knew something was up. (And apparently, this "something" had been building for some time...)

Nearly an hour later (through Writers' Workshop and into P.E.), we had gotten to the root of the problem - but by no means had we solved it.

Here's the gist (remember, these are fourth grade girls): The student who was visibly upset at recess had hit her limit. Apparently, she had been the go-to person for two different people, so she was feeling pulled in two directions - one friend (who happened to be in the other fourth grade class) wanted to join into a game that my student and a few other girls in my class were playing, so she went to my student to ask to play. Then, my student went and asked the other girls if her friend could play. They usually agreed, but then they would change the game, and this got both my student and her friend upset. But my student didn't know what to do - she is really good friends with both "sides", and all she wanted to do was be able to make everyone happy. (She's definitely a peacemaker, that one.)

I guided the girls' discussion, prodding for clarification, statements of feelings, and more, but it was tough. The one girl from the other class had been feeling excluded (been there too!), and the other girl from my class explained how she didn't like when games got too big because the rules changed and she couldn't keep track of everything.

Amazingly, all of the girls were very aware of their actions and feelings. For example, the one girl in my class said something along the lines of the fact that she realized her actions weren't good because she was hurting another girl's feelings, but she honestly didn't know how to solve the problem without just letting the game get so big (which was what she is afraid of). Later on, this same student remarked that I had missed my lunch break because of our discussion and that I must need my break. (I laughed. I knew that as long as I had some P.E. time to eat, I would be fine.)

My next step is to go to our guidance counselor - it's not that the situation is catty or out of hand; it's just that I would appreciate an outside set of hands and eyes to help get these girls on track and think up some solutions with which most everyone can be satisfied most all of the time.

Until then, I'll pray about it. After all, that's usually the most peaceful and helpful way toward solutions, isn't it?