It's when you can't do something when you miss it the most and when you notice it the most.
Right now, I can't run.
And it sucks.
On my way to school, I saw people jogging this way and that. They looked so carefree, that they were just going for a run. And they probably were.
It's just that I can't.
And this is when running would help out the most - it's such an amazing stress reliever. (The bike just doesn't do it for me.) With grad school and the start of another year of teaching, I've found myself in a funk. I sound and look fine on the outside, but I feel like I'm (at least on the inside) in this weird state of a mix of confusion, jealousy, stress, and lack of confidence.
I'll tell you one thing, though. It's making me realize that I can't depend on myself. I won't be able to get myself out of this one without help. (I am going to a running specialist/podiatrist next week, so I'm crossing my fingers that it's at least a start.) And I'm trying to pray more. And breathe more. And not take things personally. And focus on others first.
I know everything will work out, and I know there are people out there with far more going on in their lives than my small injury. I am grateful that this is the first time I've ever really dealt with an injury like this, and I'm grateful for friends and colleagues who have advice to offer in this area. I'm surrounded by good people, I know that. So, in some sense, it makes the pain a little easier to bear.
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