I will run the rACE

March is a long month with no spring break. Just throwing that out there.

Luckily for me, I had a perfect get-away: the annual ACE marathon. In and of itself, anything ACE-related usually proves a pretty good time. Couple that with the backdrop of Oakland, CA (and the fact that a handful of friends live there/nearby), and I was golden.

I don't think my heart could have been any happier. (You can ask my sister - I was literally jumping up and down at some points with joy.)

I have been so fortunate in regards to my health (especially in being able to run with plantar fasciitis) and with the support and prayers of my family, friends, and coworkers. I was extremely sad to leave Oakland and the people there, it's true; yet, I am now filled with what I believe I need to get me to spring break. And for that I am extremely grateful. We all need to take time to refresh and hit the pause button...sometimes we don't realize just how much we need it until that time is upon us.

For good measure, here are some pictures from the weekend - fair warning: there are a lot, so I'll leave you to it. :)

Even though our flight was initially cancelled, we adapted and made it to Oakland!

Ended up bunking at the ACErs' house/convent one night - they weren't messing around. They were ready for the crowd!

We stayed right near Old Oakland...and they had a farmers' market and umbrellas.

Made it to daily Mass at Cathedral of Christ the Light - beautiful church!

This is not a hologram - it's made from the natural light. So cool!

We carbed up...while making sure we were meat-free on Friday :)

We wandered around Lake Merritt and found lots of neat little places to visit, such as the Bonzai Garden.

You bet we run this town!

Per a recommendation on Atlas Obscura...

One of my classmates came to visit on Friday night!

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!

The weather was unreal - even though it was a little on the warmer side by the time the marathon rolled around, we couldn't have asked for better weather!

ACE housemates and classroom neighbors, carpool buddies, etc. (Basically this guy is the brother I never had and it was SO good to see him!)

Twins with matching shoes...that happened.

Go ACE, go!

26.2 miles later - woo hoo!

Made the choice to walk around San Francisco post-marathon - we were able to stretch the legs, but holy cow were there some steep inclines we walked up and down.

More RLP love!

The answer is ice cream. Always ice cream.

Bay Bridge from afar

Golden Gate Bridge (up close) - it was such a perfect sunset!

Scored some serious leg room on the way home (after our plane made a stop in Seattle).

These ACE people made my heart very happy - together the team raised over $10,000 for the ACE school this year. What troopers! And so much joy!!

Ready or Not, Here We Run!

Text message thread from today with Remick classmate:

Friend: You're going Thursday to the ACE thing, right?

Me: I can't go anymore. I had to change my flight.

Friend: Oh boy, where are you going?

Me: California for the ACE Marathon :)

Friend: Ohhhhh, right. OMG, I can't believe that's here already.

Me: You're telling me.

And later, this conversation:

Roommate: You're gone all weekend?

Me: Yep, California...for the marathon.

Roommate: Are you ready?

Me: Haha. I hope so.

Roommate: I can't believe it's already here.

Me: You can say that again.

This school year has gone by so incredibly fast, especially since turning the corner on 2019. The marathon isn't the only thing that crept up on me surprisingly fast - my birthday, other people's birthdays, each new trimester. It feels like I'm living in fast forward...and everything starts to blur together. Yet, I don't feel rushed or uneasy or pressed for time, for the most part. On the contrary, I've found myself to be very much at peace since the start of the school year (and especially since the start of Lent thanks to a few prayer practices I've taken up).

Still, the marathon is here. My body feels good. My training (running and biking-wise) has been consistent and solid, even though most of it has been indoors (including many of my long weekend runs). Some mornings I literally have to give myself a pep talk to roll out of bed at 4:45am, but if I don't go to the gym first thing I won't end up going at all, as there is usually some kind of evening commitment or entertainment multiple days in any given week. I've learned over the years that there are no shortcuts in training for long races - cutting corners makes race day less than what anyone could hope for. 

In college, when my sister and I ran our first marathon at Disney, the friends/mentors we ran with advised us to make three goals: 1) finish, 2) realistic time, & 3) ideal time. In thinking about this marathon and how I've done in the past, my three goals are the following: 1) Finish the race; 2) Realistic = Finish in under 4 hours; and 3) Ideal = Finish in under 3:50:00 (as the last marathon was 3:50:51). I'd love to PR, of course, but it all depends on factors like weather, health, temps, and if I can finally run a marathon when I kick it the last mile. (I've really failed at this in the past, but in my training this time I've worked on always finishing strong, so I hope that helps!)

No matter how the race turns out, the weekend (and trip to CA) will be worth it - we'll be celebrating with current and past ACErs, Fr. Lou is coming to celebrate the Mass, I am meeting up with one of my ACE housemates who lives in San Jose, and I am hanging out post-marathon with one of my Remick classmates who lives in San Francisco. 

My heart is so ready for this!

Learning to die, learning to live

Birthdays are much more exciting when you're younger, aren't they? 8 going on 9, 12 going on 13, 20 going on 21... those are some milestones! And what kid doesn't love (ice cream) cake and presents?

32 going on 33? Not so much.

At some point, though I'm not sure when, it just starts feeling like another day, another year ticking by. It really makes me think of "When Harry Met Sally":

It's birthdays, holidays, and family celebrations (i.e. weddings, funerals, reunions) that make me wonder what I'm doing with my life. And I don't mean that in any kind of "whoa is me" sentimentality; I mean it in the "have I been doing enough with my life?" way...

I've been using the "Memento Mori" daily Lenten journal, which requires the user to pause and think, even if just so slightly, about mortality and life's purpose. In light of this, I can't help also thinking about Tuesdays with Morrie, which is one of my go-tos in terms of reflecting on death:

Now, I don't mean to be morbid, but it's helpful (at least for myself) to think along the lines of this: If I die today...

• will I have done the best I could and strived for sainthood?
• will I have told family and friends that I love them?
• will I have left a grudge or broken relationship unmended?
• will I have helped lessen the burdens of others, brought others to Christ, and/or lived the works of mercy?
• will I have left this world a little bit better than I found it?

Death is a hard pill to swallow; it's never easy to say goodbye to a loved one. Reminders pop up from time to time to bring our attention back to a certain person, or we want to run and tell our loved one about something that happened but we can't, or any number of things. And when it's our turn to have others say goodbye to us, the unknown can be frightening. But we have the promise of redemption, of heaven, of something better than we have ever known.

So, as we continue this Lenten season, let us pray that we live our lives each day to the fullest as a way to prepare our hearts and minds for daily deaths to self and our one day death in this life to be born into the next. Amen.

Time for a little gut spilling...and life updates

A (FREE!) jazz concert on Friday night - what fun! I was with a few friends, and we had been standing for about an hour in the back, as the venue was packed. I didn't realize how tired my legs were until we were able to sit down (due to the fact that some people decided to leave early).

As it was intermission, the musicians were on a short break, so my friend and I got to talking and catching up. She recently started seeing a guy she had met at church, so we got on the topic of dating. She surprised me (in the most beautiful way) when she said she's always thinking about a guy she could send in my direction. I chuckled a little because over Christmas break a close friend who is getting married this summer was thinking out loud about single guys that would be at his wedding - his comment caught me off guard too: "Nope, not good enough for our Kelly."

I have to wonder if I come across as some kind of "holier than thou" or "in need of a perfect man" person. (I don't think my friends mean it that way; I think it's some form of compliment.) But the truth is, I'm just looking for a guy whose heart's in the right place, someone of faith and with morals. (That's not so unique, is it? Sometimes I feel like I should be wearing a sign.) If this guy likes the outdoors, enjoys ice cream, has a corny sense of humor (or can, at least, put up with my word play and corny jokes), and will listen to endless stories of students without getting bored, that'd sure be a bonus, but those aren't necessarily deal breakers. (Well, if he doesn't like ice cream, that could potentially be a deal breaker...)

I think a large part of the problem is that I have never had much confidence when it comes to the dating scene. In fact, I once told a friend something along the lines of this: There are so many incredible women out there, why should someone pick me? To this, she said she better not hear me ever say that again. (And I'm grateful for that comment.) But, you see what I mean, don't you? Another piece of it, in my humble opinion, is that while I pride myself on being able to read people when it comes to if/how they are attracted to others (I have high rates of getting this right, for the record), I have never been able to do so when it comes to myself. A guy could be sending all the right signals, but I could be completely oblivious. (And I'm not so great at flirting, either.)

What's the answer? Well, I'm definitely grateful for my friends who are trying to look out for me - maybe one day soon they'll send someone along my path. In all seriousness, it's something I offer up to God every night (especially now that my sister has a good husband, which is what I was asking for first) - it seems selfish, especially with all of the hurt, violence, and bigger things going on in this world (though, I pray for these things too), and maybe it's not meant to be in terms of God's plans for me, but I find it helpful to talk to God about it regardless. Sometimes my prayer is along the lines of asking God to hit a guy over the head (and then to hit me over the head too) - whatever works, right? (For the record, I still draw the line at online dating, even though that clearly works for some people.)


Whew. Just kind of spilled my guts there. Admittedly, that was tough to write - enough about that. Let's change the subject and move on to a few other things...


In school-related news, my school just held its annual St. Baldrick's Day event. It's a tradition that started 9 years ago, when a 7th grade student was diagnosed with pediatric brain cancer, and his classmates wanted to do something about it. They started this fundraiser as well as their own nonprofit for him. While he ended up passing away the fall of his 8th grade year, it's safe to say we will never forget this young man, Pat Mac - the energy and support in the gym on Friday was unreal. His parents came, as they do every year, and some of his classmates (who are now graduating college) were there too. The event started with a local police officer playing bagpipes up the aisle and an Irish Dance performance by six of our students. After weeks of fundraising efforts (through which we raised over $50,000!), many students shaved their heads, donated their hair, or got their faces painted. Even our pastor and I took part this year - and they had us on the stage before the classes were dismissed. (Shout out to those who donated to my efforts!) 8 inches of my hair is being shipped off with the rest of the donated hair to Children With Hair Loss - woo hoo! Now I just have to get used to using a heck of a lot less shampoo. (See before & after pictures below.)

On the faith front, as you probably know, Lent started on Wednesday. The kids keep asking me what I'm giving up, but, while I am giving up something, for me it's more about what I'm trying to do for my prayer life. I kept hearing podcasts and reading articles about "Memento Mori" ("Remember your death"), so I invested in the related daily Lenten journal (image below). Additionally, I have started a practice that when my alarm goes off in the morning, I then set it for 10 minutes later...but I don't let myself go back to sleep. Instead, I lie there and use that time to talk to God and offer up my day. At the end of the day, I have started praying the Examen (the young adult version on the "Pray as you go" app, which I highly recommend!) - I used to do this all the time, but the practice had fallen to the wayside for me. I can honestly say that I wake up feeling more rested and at peace, and this particular prayer brings to light so many small moments of grace during the day.

Finally (and unrelated to anything I was just talking about), I just thought this was worth sharing, as it is good for a chuckle - Happy Daylight Savings!

God winked...and my heart was filled

This week I was reminded why I chose and, more importantly, why I stay in Catholic education. Let's just say that God has a funny way of showing up when you need it most...

For me, this previous week (in fact, the past few weeks) left me feeling, at times, down on myself and second-guessing my decisions and actions. At this time of the year, I think it's safe to say many educators are finding themselves in similar positions. Students are frustrated with each other and with their teachers; teachers are pushed to the limit in managing student conflict, finalizing grades, and doing extra tasks on top of all of the regular load of the classroom; parents are honing in on little things that they feel haven't been addressed to date and are worried about their children's report card grades... the stress and demands keep building... and we have quite some time before spring break. (Help.)

In the midst of this, though, I ran into three previous students. One graduated from 8th grade last year and is a freshman at a local Catholic high school. I saw her and her mom going into "Dear Evan Hansen" but I couldn't get their attention in line, as I was a good 10 people back with my friend. However, I figured out how to get in touch with her via phone, and I was able to see them briefly after the show. The other two students graduated from 8th grade four years ago and are in the middle of college applications. My sister and I ran into them today when we went out for brunch after Mass.

It can be hard to go anywhere in Chicago without running into someone that I know, especially after living and teaching in the city for a long time, but I know deep down in my heart that these two instances of seeing my previous students were not mere coincidences, as crazy as that might sound. You see, these young people were genuinely excited to see me, and they enjoyed sharing some of the things they've been up to. And I remembered their names, little things about them - it felt like they were just in my class yesterday. When I asked them to tell the classmates who they still keep in contact with hello from me, they seemed eager to do so. And that did wonders for my heart - it truly filled me with such joy. And it was a joy that I needed in the midst of this tough time of year.

I know I've reflected before on this blog about how teaching is hard for many reasons, but most especially because when your students graduate, there's no guarantee that you'll see them again. You trust that they'll grow into good people and pursue their dreams, but you don't usually see those things happen - sometimes you're lucky if you just hear about it from another colleague or another school parent later on. The interactions this week, though, reminded me of being part of something bigger than myself as a Catholic school educator and realizing in retrospect the possibility of making a difference in students' lives while they are in your care.

I am so grateful for these "God-instances" or, as my principal calls them, "God winks at you" moments. God is watching out for us, and He will help fill us up when times seem tough.

A leader's lesson in humility

I will wholeheartedly admit that when I received the list of students whom I would be interviewing for Confirmation today I was slightly disappointed. These were 8th graders who I did not really know, ones who were kind of on the quiet side, ones who I considered out of all of them didn't care as much about their faith.

One girl in particular I was worried about. And, as we got ready for her group's turn, she informed me she had not brought her service journal for our religious ed director/Confirmation coordinator. I told her I would write her name down so he knew to follow up with her tomorrow, and I thought rather sarcastically to myself, This is going to be fun.

The first question I asked to break the ice, as it seemed rather low stakes to me, was about who they had each picked as their Confirmation Saint and why. Responses were similar, as names, on a whole, were chosen to honor a relative or because the Saint had stuck with them from a younger age. When everyone else in this particular group had shared, the girl (whom I had my doubts about) spoke up. She said, "This may seem like a silly reason (at which point my head jumped to, Oh boy, she chose the name because it sounded cool - I've had that happen before)... but I took the name Novena because it represents how the Apostles waited nine days for the Holy Spirit and I need to learn how to wait in my life for the Holy Spirit because I need it, especially as I go to high school."

I think my jaw dropped.

(And, if I could have kicked or slapped myself, I would have.)

As my conversation with the students continued, she shared about the influence of her grandma's faith on her own life and for her desire to be more involved in the parish. She was so genuine, and her thoughts were so deep.

How had I been so judgmental? (And why, in the past, have I prided myself on not judging people?) Here I was thinking because she got in trouble in school and didn't always get the best grades academically that she didn't have much of a faith life; yet, I would wager her faith is stronger than mine.

I was both deeply saddened and humbled by our conversation. I had underestimated one of our students, and she showed me through her thoughtful reflection and honesty how much of her heart and mind that I had not yet seen this year. And I know today was still only scratching at the surface.

I knew that I failed as a school leader today, even if it was on the inside where no one else could see but me. But I also knew I learned a valuable lesson - never underestimate or throw out anyone, especially a student. Everyone has something to say, and people are often not who they first appear to be without taking the time to get to know them.

And everyone needs someone to believe in them, ask the right questions, step back, and watch them shine.

My Big, Fat...Catholic Confirmation

I've always found it wonderful at Confirmation at ICSJ that the entire row goes up with each Confirmandi and sponsor for the presentation to, and anointing by, the Bishop. It's such a beautiful witness of faith and community. The Bishop speaks to each student, and his words are full of such wisdom and hope (trust me from years of listening in by sitting in the front row) that it is good for the whole group to hear what is said.

This year we celebrated the Confirmation of students I taught in 6th and 7th grade. Every group of students is special, but this particular group holds a significant space in my heart. I taught many of these students' siblings and have known the families for quite some time. I tended to go to their sporting events more than the other classes (except my own volleyball girls, of course), and they were always so creative and inquisitive.

Now, this event had been on my calendar for a long time, and I wouldn't miss it for the world. But I would be lying if I didn't say when I actually won the Hamilton lottery for that evening that I didn't have second thoughts about ditching the Mass and going to the show instead.

When it came down to it, though, I declined the tickets. It may sound crazy (and I won't judge you for thinking so), but if I wasn't at Confirmation I would have spent the whole night thinking about the students and Mass anyways. And what fun would that have been at Hamilton? (Plus, in all fairness, I've seen it twice...I've just never won the lottery before!) I believe I made the right decision - the Mass was such a blessing.

If I had to take a guess, the average amount of family/guests for each student was between 5 and 10, with some students surrounded by nearly 20 people. (It almost seemed like some unspoken contest to see who had the most people...kidding.) I knew it was going to be a challenge to find a seat - I didn't want to get stuck all the way in the back - but, as fate would have it, one my the students asked me to sit in her row. I fit easily, as it was just her and her mom - her sponsor (and other extended family) live out of town and it was not possible for them to travel. I was honored to sit with them, and I also was invited to walk up to the Bishop with them, where her 8th grade religion teacher met us and served as the stand-in for her sponsor. The Bishop talked about her smile as a sign of joy, one of the fruits of the Spirit. His words touched me, and I hope they touched her as well, as she was one of those students who never seemed quite content with accepting some Church teachings. And something else brought me nearly to tears - during the Alleluia, she did the sign language that I had taught them last year. I can't believe she remembered it! (Just goes to show how much movement sticks with you, I suppose.)

I envy ICSJ for ending Catholic Schools Week with Confirmation Mass - it's so appropriate, so perfect. It's a true celebration of the Catholic faith in our young people. (Come Holy Spirit!) I'm so proud and so incredibly happy for them. I pray that they continue to excel and to pursue deeper understanding of their faith in high school, which is an exciting possibility considering many will be going to Catholic high school. :) Love and prayers for those kiddos - keep it up!

While it was amazing to witness the Sacrament, see students, and catch up with the families at ICSJ, I was just the tiniest bit sad. I realized how much I miss those kids, my coworkers, my pastor, and the school families. But I also realized that I had moved on for a reason and that I am starting to find that same sense of community and support at my current school now too.

Speaking of my current school...Catholic Schools Week, overall, was a success - it just was slightly disrupted due to the midweek subzero temperatures. The kids enjoyed the dress down days and activities, to be sure. But here are my two quick highlights:

1. I received two notes, one from a friend who works for ACE and one from a previous student, which truly put me over the moon. As a teacher, it is rare to see the fruits of your labor, so the kind words relayed by my friend and written by my student were such a gift. I love hearing how my students are doing, and I love learning about their successes.

2. For teacher appreciation day, the student council made mugs and brought donuts to the whole staff. As one of the students gave me mine, she smiled and said, "I made yours." I love it!

I have been blessed with more than I ever deserve to be - God is good. I pray that I can pay it forward in large and small ways, day in and day out, even when I get frustrated or upset. 

Our lives are truly a gift. We, myself included, need to live in such a way that shows we believe that.