I will wholeheartedly admit that when I received the list of students whom I would be interviewing for Confirmation today I was slightly disappointed. These were 8th graders who I did not really know, ones who were kind of on the quiet side, ones who I considered out of all of them didn't care as much about their faith.
One girl in particular I was worried about. And, as we got ready for her group's turn, she informed me she had not brought her service journal for our religious ed director/Confirmation coordinator. I told her I would write her name down so he knew to follow up with her tomorrow, and I thought rather sarcastically to myself, This is going to be fun.
The first question I asked to break the ice, as it seemed rather low stakes to me, was about who they had each picked as their Confirmation Saint and why. Responses were similar, as names, on a whole, were chosen to honor a relative or because the Saint had stuck with them from a younger age. When everyone else in this particular group had shared, the girl (whom I had my doubts about) spoke up. She said, "This may seem like a silly reason (at which point my head jumped to, Oh boy, she chose the name because it sounded cool - I've had that happen before)... but I took the name Novena because it represents how the Apostles waited nine days for the Holy Spirit and I need to learn how to wait in my life for the Holy Spirit because I need it, especially as I go to high school."
I think my jaw dropped.
(And, if I could have kicked or slapped myself, I would have.)
As my conversation with the students continued, she shared about the influence of her grandma's faith on her own life and for her desire to be more involved in the parish. She was so genuine, and her thoughts were so deep.
How had I been so judgmental? (And why, in the past, have I prided myself on not judging people?) Here I was thinking because she got in trouble in school and didn't always get the best grades academically that she didn't have much of a faith life; yet, I would wager her faith is stronger than mine.
I was both deeply saddened and humbled by our conversation. I had underestimated one of our students, and she showed me through her thoughtful reflection and honesty how much of her heart and mind that I had not yet seen this year. And I know today was still only scratching at the surface.
I knew that I failed as a school leader today, even if it was on the inside where no one else could see but me. But I also knew I learned a valuable lesson - never underestimate or throw out anyone, especially a student. Everyone has something to say, and people are often not who they first appear to be without taking the time to get to know them.
And everyone needs someone to believe in them, ask the right questions, step back, and watch them shine.
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