And It Knocks You Down

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

When life isn't going right, go left.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.


You know the saying - no matter how you say it, the sentiment is the same, as demonstrated above - and we've all been there. Life gets tough. And sometimes it seems that life keeps knocking you down when you've already been knocked down in the first place.

For me, this week was one of those "knock you down" weeks. On Monday, things were going fine minus a few sneezes and a bit of a sore throat. Didn't think much of it, but I ate some chicken noodle soup, bought some orange juice and strawberries, took some meds, and went to bed early just to be on the safe side.

Tuesday morning rolled around, and it was hard to even think about lifting my head. I knew I was not able to be a functioning human being, so I texted my principal and took a sick day (when I proceeded to spend all of it on the couch in a combo of napping, reading, trying to get as much Vitamin C as possible, and listening to podcasts...and then more napping).

On Wednesday, things were looking (and feeling) better. The weather was beautiful, we had girls running club, and we celebrated our 8th grade athletes at the sports banquet. On my way home, though, my tire pressure light came on about 2 miles from home. When I pulled into my garage and got out of the car to check, I saw it - a very flat rear passenger tire. I texted my principal right away - I couldn't believe it! I never miss work, and here I was missing at least 1.5 days in the same week.

Luckily I have AAA, so I called them first thing on Thursday morning, and they came within an hour and a half. While I was waiting, I ended up talking to my dad on the phone. (He was on his way to the dentist, so I don't know which of us was having the worse morning...) He said I sounded surprisingly calm about the tires. I wondered in a situation like this, when there's nothing I could do about it, how I could not be calm or where, exactly, worrying/freaking out would get me? Apparently, I used to be more of a freaker-outer. I guess times have changed...

Once they put on the spare, I headed to a local tire place recommended by a friend. It would be about 2 hours for them to take care of my car, as they had a long line of customers who had previously made appointments. So, I left my car there, headed back home, went for a quick run, got cleaned up and ready for work, and then went back to the car place. By then, my car was ready to go (the tire was patchable...but the front tire was in need of replacing, so they took care of that while they were at it), and I was finally on my way to school...got there right in time for lunch duty.

At the end of the day, which was actually the end of the 1:30-4pm teacher PD session, my principal and I found out that one of our teachers will not be returning next year. It was somewhat of a shock...and we already have quite a few leaving (most of whom are retiring)...so that added a bit more stress...sent some texts to friends before heading out to send quality candidates my way, so praying and crossing fingers on this one.

My purpose in writing this post is not to complain. The truth is, it's kind of comical how everything hits you at once...that when it rains it pours...or, well, you know... It reminds me a bit of that quote that goes along the lines of this: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." And it also made me realize that my troubles pale in comparison to those that others deal with (some on a regular basis), so who am I to get worked up over these more trivial things that happen to anyone on any given day.

Bottom line - it's not worth the stress or the fretting. Take another look and it suddenly ain't so bad.

What makes a meaningful life?

I've NEVER (I repeat, NEVER) been excited about teaching Family Life. Why we still use the textbook series we use is beyond my comprehension - the themes are there (if you look REALLY hard), but the substance is completely surface level. How are we supposed to get the kids serious and interested about the topics if we don't give them anything worth being serious about in the first place?

It has taken five years of teaching middle school religion to finally take this into my own hands and do something different. (It's not that I haven't changed things up before in Family Life - I must say, "Tuesdays with Morrie" has been the catalyst of some of the most meaningful discussions I've ever had with students - but they need something even more.) In sixth grade, the topics span all stages of life, from natural conception to natural death, and focus on the decisions we face in each stage. 

So, if you think about it, the question I should be posing to my sixth graders is this: What makes a meaningful life?

This question has been posed throughout history and, notably, across many great works of fiction (and nonfiction)/entertainment. Take A Christmas Carol, where Scrooge learns that a life of building up one's own riches and not spreading love and joy to others is no life worth living at all. Or, consider my personal favorite, "It's a Wonderful Life," where George Bailey gets a chance to see what the world would be like without him, and through that experience he understands how much one life has the power to positively affect so many others.

Think about Mitch who took a lesson from his old professor in Tuesdays with Morrie:
“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

I'm still fleshing out the exact activities and discussions of this unit... What makes this unit/theme difficult is that many students have lost grandparents and one of my sixth graders recently lost his father to a rare disease, so I do need to tread carefully, allowing students opportunities to speak with the guidance counselor or do whatever they need should a particular discussion or activity bring certain emotions or memories to the surface. (While it has been a long time since my grandparents died, I admit I still cry at the end of the movie "Tuesdays with Morrie" every year when we watch it in class. And that's okay...and I want the students to know that and be able to safely experience that too.)

Some people may think middle school students should not have to grapple with this question or may not understand it or cannot handle it...but I respectfully disagree with anyone who feels this way. Our children can and should think about these things. If not now, then when? If not under guidance and in the safe space of a classroom, then where?

So, right now the plan is to keep "Tuesdays with Morrie," but I'm going to open our unit with a look at a work of fiction, Tuck Everlasting, to set the scene and to act as a comparative piece of literature. (If you have not yet experienced this beautiful book, then I suggest you make your way to the closest public library or to Amazon because, in my humble opinion, you are missing out.) It's the story of Winnie Foster and how her path crosses that of the Tuck family on one fateful summer day. To not give away too much while still providing the context of using this in class, the Tucks drank from a spring that allows them to live forever. At first this seems like a marvelous idea, but as Mr. Tuck explains later on, it's more complicated than the glamour and thrill such a life suggests. It's not natural. "You can't have living without dying," Tuck states to Winnie at one point. (Morrie says it another way: "Once you learn how to die you learn how to live.") But when faced with the decision to drink from the same stream or to let her life keep its natural course, what will Winnie do? And, as the reader, you ask yourself, what would you do? What if you could live forever?

I'm hoping the students can use this opportunity to engage seriously in considering all aspects of life, from conception to death, as the gift God has given each of us. And I hope this book (as well as "Tuesdays with Morrie") will help provide the structure the class needs to do just that and to consider how their decisions and actions will shape their lives into meaningful ones.

As the years come and go - can we believe it's 2018 so soon?! - it's a thought worth pondering for all of us: "What makes a meaningful life?" And, perhaps more importantly, we should be asking ourselves, "What am I doing to make my life meaningful - something beautiful for others and for God?"

On that note, Happy New Year! I wish you all the best in 2018!

Understanding Life Backwards

I just started reading a book, Cutting for Stone, and one of the quotes that stood out to me in the prologue was this:"You live life forward, but you understand it backward." In our own lives, how often do we stop and reflect on where we've come from and where we're going?...


An unexpected death, that's what it was. Many of us had no idea this school parent was even ill. This man touched so many lives in his short time on earth, and that was evident at Saturday's service, where hundreds of people gathered in the church to celebrate his life and to pay their respects. His family, kids he coached in baseball, friends of his kids, friends of him and his wife, faculty from the school, and others filled the pews. I was touched to see so many students from our school and alumni who had gone to school with this man's daughter (who is now in high school) - they came to support their friend(s).

Funerals tend to do this - they bring people together and allow all gathered to collectively pause and reflect on both the life of the person who died and their own mortality, not in a morbid way, but in a way that makes one ask, "Am I living in such a way that is for others?" and "Am I living in such a way that, at my funeral, they can say I lived a full life?" (I'm sure there are other questions we should be asking too.)

The priest gave us an image to use to help us think about our time on earth - When we are born, we have an hourglass filled with sand that gets turned over. Only God knows how much sand is in our hourglass. Some people have more, some people have less. But what we do during that time (however long or short) is up to us.

Father's image reminded me of the Mary Oliver quote that says, "Tell me, what will you do with your one wild and precious life?" Let us remember our time on earth is a gift - we don't know its length, but we can live it to the fullest to love and serve one another as well as be catalysts of joy.