I have come to fall in love with teaching in Catholic schools. What are YOU in love with?...

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything." - Pedro Arrupe
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Time for a little gut spilling...and life updates

A (FREE!) jazz concert on Friday night - what fun! I was with a few friends, and we had been standing for about an hour in the back, as the venue was packed. I didn't realize how tired my legs were until we were able to sit down (due to the fact that some people decided to leave early).



As it was intermission, the musicians were on a short break, so my friend and I got to talking and catching up. She recently started seeing a guy she had met at church, so we got on the topic of dating. She surprised me (in the most beautiful way) when she said she's always thinking about a guy she could send in my direction. I chuckled a little because over Christmas break a close friend who is getting married this summer was thinking out loud about single guys that would be at his wedding - his comment caught me off guard too: "Nope, not good enough for our Kelly."

I have to wonder if I come across as some kind of "holier than thou" or "in need of a perfect man" person. (I don't think my friends mean it that way; I think it's some form of compliment.) But the truth is, I'm just looking for a guy whose heart's in the right place, someone of faith and with morals. (That's not so unique, is it? Sometimes I feel like I should be wearing a sign.) If this guy likes the outdoors, enjoys ice cream, has a corny sense of humor (or can, at least, put up with my word play and corny jokes), and will listen to endless stories of students without getting bored, that'd sure be a bonus, but those aren't necessarily deal breakers. (Well, if he doesn't like ice cream, that could potentially be a deal breaker...)

I think a large part of the problem is that I have never had much confidence when it comes to the dating scene. In fact, I once told a friend something along the lines of this: There are so many incredible women out there, why should someone pick me? To this, she said she better not hear me ever say that again. (And I'm grateful for that comment.) But, you see what I mean, don't you? Another piece of it, in my humble opinion, is that while I pride myself on being able to read people when it comes to if/how they are attracted to others (I have high rates of getting this right, for the record), I have never been able to do so when it comes to myself. A guy could be sending all the right signals, but I could be completely oblivious. (And I'm not so great at flirting, either.)

What's the answer? Well, I'm definitely grateful for my friends who are trying to look out for me - maybe one day soon they'll send someone along my path. In all seriousness, it's something I offer up to God every night (especially now that my sister has a good husband, which is what I was asking for first) - it seems selfish, especially with all of the hurt, violence, and bigger things going on in this world (though, I pray for these things too), and maybe it's not meant to be in terms of God's plans for me, but I find it helpful to talk to God about it regardless. Sometimes my prayer is along the lines of asking God to hit a guy over the head (and then to hit me over the head too) - whatever works, right? (For the record, I still draw the line at online dating, even though that clearly works for some people.)


Whew. Just kind of spilled my guts there. Admittedly, that was tough to write - enough about that. Let's change the subject and move on to a few other things...


In school-related news, my school just held its annual St. Baldrick's Day event. It's a tradition that started 9 years ago, when a 7th grade student was diagnosed with pediatric brain cancer, and his classmates wanted to do something about it. They started this fundraiser as well as their own nonprofit for him. While he ended up passing away the fall of his 8th grade year, it's safe to say we will never forget this young man, Pat Mac - the energy and support in the gym on Friday was unreal. His parents came, as they do every year, and some of his classmates (who are now graduating college) were there too. The event started with a local police officer playing bagpipes up the aisle and an Irish Dance performance by six of our students. After weeks of fundraising efforts (through which we raised over $50,000!), many students shaved their heads, donated their hair, or got their faces painted. Even our pastor and I took part this year - and they had us on the stage before the classes were dismissed. (Shout out to those who donated to my efforts!) 8 inches of my hair is being shipped off with the rest of the donated hair to Children With Hair Loss - woo hoo! Now I just have to get used to using a heck of a lot less shampoo. (See before & after pictures below.)




On the faith front, as you probably know, Lent started on Wednesday. The kids keep asking me what I'm giving up, but, while I am giving up something, for me it's more about what I'm trying to do for my prayer life. I kept hearing podcasts and reading articles about "Memento Mori" ("Remember your death"), so I invested in the related daily Lenten journal (image below). Additionally, I have started a practice that when my alarm goes off in the morning, I then set it for 10 minutes later...but I don't let myself go back to sleep. Instead, I lie there and use that time to talk to God and offer up my day. At the end of the day, I have started praying the Examen (the young adult version on the "Pray as you go" app, which I highly recommend!) - I used to do this all the time, but the practice had fallen to the wayside for me. I can honestly say that I wake up feeling more rested and at peace, and this particular prayer brings to light so many small moments of grace during the day.




Finally (and unrelated to anything I was just talking about), I just thought this was worth sharing, as it is good for a chuckle - Happy Daylight Savings!

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Seek and you shall...journal?

I bought myself a Christmas gift.


I've been meaning to get back into journaling for awhile now, so I decided to put an end to my excuses. This journal's format provides space to daily record morning and evening entries. The morning entry focuses on gratitude as well as anticipated challenges and grace you need from God. The evening entry focuses on the high and low moments from your day. At the end of each week, there is a weekly reflection as well as ponder questions and space for prayer intentions.

It's incredibly simple and structured...and that makes it all the more likely I will use it (thoughtfully). I think it makes a difference to go into each day naming a challenge you anticipate so that you are aware of it when it comes and how God can help you in that situation or with those feelings.

The back of the book includes a number of Jesuit prayers. I've included a few of my favorites here:





You can read more about the journal at the Ignatian Resources website. If you think journaling may help your relationship with God and others, I recommend you look into getting one (or at least getting a blank notebook).

In other news, I saw a post on someone's Facebook or Instagram about a Saint's name generator - it's a website that randomly gives the user a Saint. The idea is that you learn more about the Saint or you invoke the Saint's help for the year (or for a time period). Lo and behold, I got St. John Bosco! Needless to say, I was pretty excited (even if it is just a random online generator). I love the Salesians - and they keep finding a way to come back into my life...


The Saints are a great way to grow closer to God and to inspire us to live each day striving to be the best versions of ourselves. Inspired by this, one of my New Year's goals is to invoke the intercession of both John Bosco and Mary, Help of Christians, each day during 2018. (I'm also trying to cook more regularly and eat more healthily this year, but that's another story for another time...)

St. John Bosco, pray for us! Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us! I hope 2018 is off to a wonderful start for you and your loved ones.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Looking back...and looking ahead

Just finished up trimester 2 parent teacher conference day.

I realized a lot has happened since the last conferences for trimester 1:

- I finished my first semester of online classes for grad school.
- I enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays with my family.
- I got a shot of cortisone in my foot and started running again, getting up to 9 miles!
- I started dating a very faith-filled, fun, and generous guy.
- I went to a couple of shows, including at the Shakespeare theater and for Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.
- I witnessed my 8th graders receive the Sacrament of Confirmation (and served as a sponsor).
- I attended the annual FL retreat with my grad school classmates.
- I led 4-8th grade Advent retreats and Reconciliation services.
- I started coaching volleyball again.
- I helped some alumni start a new chapter for the school service club.
- I roadtripped for a long weekend to St. Louis to visit with friends.
- I gave a homily during Catholic Schools Week about why I stay in Catholic education.
- I played in the student-faculty basketball game.
- I saw more movies in the theater than I had seen in the past year combined.
- Lent started, and I am working hard to maintain my Lenten promises and use them to help me grow closer to God and others.


And there was probably plenty more that happened along the way (as I know I have had many failures and mistakes too)...

As I look ahead to trimester 3 and the ending of my second semester of online classes for grad school, I have a full, happy heart. I am so grateful for the people who have been walking this journey with me. As I close the chapter of year 30 of my life and prepare to turn 31 this upcoming week (ah!), I can't help but smile.

God is good and always here - in the best of times and in the lowest of times. May these 40 days of Lent be a time of preparation, reflection, healing, and hope for all of us. Amen.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Three Weeks Till Lent

Three weeks until Lent...
Guess it's not too early to post about what I'm planning to do...
still need to work out some things...

1) Detach from social media: 
While I'm not planning on going off it all together, I will be taking Facebook, Messenger, and Twitter off my phone, thereby reducing the easy access and amount of time I spend scrolling through feeds. (If a major life event happens for you and you'd like me to know about it, please call or text.)

2) Reduce my morning screen time:
I do tend to enjoy the morning reflections from FaithND, Jesuit Spirituality, Dynamic Catholic, Fr. Barron, and others, it just gets to be too overwhelming. They are all good sources...but when, like me, you just start scanning them instead of really stopping and praying with them, the purpose of having them in the first place is missed. Therefore, it's time to let those go...at least for the season... (If there are any REALLY good ones or ones you know I would want/need to hear, feel free to pass them along.)

3) Journal:
I decided to invest in a Catholic Lenten journal from Blessed Is She (the journal was on sale when I got it, so BONUS!), which focuses on daily Scripture and reflection in a guided manner. I will use this journal in the mornings in place of the usual email reflections. I think it will be a good change.


4) Read: 
I posted on Facebook awhile back about interest in putting together an informal book club for Walk in Her Sandals, and I received a strong response from some local friends. The pack of books came in the mail this week, so now it's time to deliver them and to make our plan of action for reading and discussing. Part of the stipulation was that our get-togethers include wine, as the book is put out by W.I.N.E. (Women In the New Evangelization). Very excited to see where this leads.


I may decide on a few other things before the season actually gets here...but I don't want to commit to too much for fear of not being able to do well that to which I have already committed.


Lent will be here before we know it. I challenge you to be a little more thoughtful this year - what's going to make a real difference? What do you need to let go of or have more of in your life this Lenten season?

Saturday, April 9, 2016

But Really, It's the Holy Spirit...

God works in mysterious ways. And, after reflecting about the Holy Spirit for pretty much the entirety of today, I came to realize that oftentimes, when we don't have a name for a coincidence or meaningful circumstance/connection/etc., we should probably attribute such to the third person of the Trinity.

One thing that particularly resonated with me today is that we have the power to command the Holy Spirit, and, as the priest this morning said, He can't decide to just not show up. "Come Holy Spirit." There's so much power in the phrase if we remember to call upon Him.

And now that I've taken time to think about it, the Holy Spirit pops up a lot more than one might originally think. Even this past week with my 8th graders - we've been watching the Biblical epic, "The Robe" (starring Richard Burton), and, having now seen it three times in its entirety, I realize that while it tells the fictional tale of the Roman tribune who put Jesus to death, it more importantly (and perhaps more poignantly) tells the story of how the Holy Spirit worked through the early Christians to stand strong in their faith and spread the Good News to others. As a touching line of one of the final scenes says (or, at least it's along these lines), "What would have happened if they (early Christians) would have denied knowing Jesus?" The beautiful, courageous truth is that they didn't. And because of this, the Truth lived on. Jesus, indeed, rose from the dead, and His followers risked their very lives to carry on His work and teachings to this very day. If that's not the Holy Spirit at work, I don't know what is!

I am so grateful for this day of reflection and retreat. Now, it's a matter of remembering to call on the Holy Spirit to be at work in my life and the lives of those around me. Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit, the Advocate, so that we would not be afraid. He definitely left His followers in good hands...

my "notes" page from adoration/praise & worship

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Extreme Makeover: Advent Prayer Edition

As I admitted to my 8th graders earlier this week, I wasn't doing so hot in my communication with God prior to Thanksgiving. (As a religion teacher, this is probably shocking, I know. But, unfortunately, it is true. 100%)

But, along came Advent, and I decided it was time to overhaul my prayer life, starting with making it a priority. To do this, I set my alarm clock for 15 minutes earlier each day than I would normally get up. (On the days I go to the gym, that's pretty darn early (because prayer is literally the first 15 minutes of my day), but it's worth it.) And in those 15 minutes, I sit with the readings of the day or reflections (mainly) from three sources: The Little Blue Advent Book, Fr. Barron's written reflections, and Sacred Reading from the Apostleship of Prayer. In addition, I journal a few thoughts here and there - you know, the main takeaways.

In looking back over my journal recently, I noticed a few themes:

1) Waiting is active. And it is hard. We have to keep in perspective how sometimes God completes His will only after a very long time. God's time isn't our time. We need to trust in the "slow work of God." We can't expect immediate returns.

2) We need to ask God/Jesus for His will in our lives. "Lord Jesus, make me the person YOU want me to be. I give myself to you." That's hard to say and truly mean when you say it. (Kinda like the Suscipe.) It's easy to hold back and say this and add on "...but really XYZ," isn't it?

3) It's time to get more familiar with the Bible. Bible study is all well and good, but I need to examine Scripture on my own too. There is so much richness in history and in the fulfillment of Jesus' coming.

4) We make promises for the times it is hard to keep them, not for the times it is easy to do so. If I could only tell you how many times this Advent season this thought has kicked me in the butt to get out of bed for the gym (commitment) or to listen to the Divine Mercy chaplet as I snuggle into bed each night when I'd rather fall asleep. It's so true - We promise so that we stick to something (or someone) when the going gets tough or when we just don't feel like it. And keeping that promise makes all the difference. And you know something? God always keeps His promises.

I pray that the remainder of this Advent season brings you and your loved ones peace and joy.

Went to the Chriskindlmarket tonight downtown - not quite sure how this translates, but I think it has something to do with "Goodbye" and "Happy Holidays!"