One of the seventh graders in the other advisory came up to me in the hallway this morning before the bell, stared up at me and said, "I'm going to miss you next year." Then, she walked in the room.
After advisory, a handful of my students stayed behind to show me a slideshow they had put together (of my smiles and shoes - go figure). The last slide featured a photo of the whole class from the Christmas show, and at the bottom it read "Good luck Miss Foyle."
Some sixth grade students came in and told me they had built me a church. (Really, it was a re-purposed Social Studies project, but it's the thought that counts.) On the roof of the church they had signed their names and written things like "we'll miss you next year" and "Jesus loves you."
At dismissal yesterday and again today a few parents confronted me. One looked at me with sad eyes and pleaded, "Tell me it's not true." She then went on to ask about my new position and said while she would be sad to see me go that she was happy for me. Another parent just kind of gave me the eye, and I just started spilling. She, too, was glad for me, but asked, "Couldn't you have waited two more years till my daughter graduates?"
To say I made an easy or right choice in leaving would be a lie - it's definitely not easy, and there is no "right" choice to be made. But I think the change is one that will be good for me, even if it's particularly difficult now as we are approaching the final days of school. I have found myself packing up seven years of my teaching career into boxes, deciding what comes with me and what stays. (That's been particularly difficult with all of my books, let me tell you!) So many memories...
But, you know, it isn't "goodbye." It's more like "see you later." It's not like last time where I picked up and moved across the country from Phoenix to Chicago - that was more like "goodbye." (And that, in all honesty, was one of the hardest things I've ever done.) I know I'll find my way back to cheer the kids on at a basketball game or go to family Mass or see the school play. I told the seventh graders that I would do my best to come to their Confirmation (and hopefully graduation) - and they all smiled and were excited about that. There's a fine balance, though - I know I can't hold on too tight. If I do, I risk not jumping in with both feet to my new community, and I can't bear the thought of not being present for them even though I don't even know them yet.
So, hand me the box of Kleenex and give me a shoulder to cry on. Help me take a step back and realize it will be all right. Help me be grateful, and help me have courage.
Change is natural and it's necessary. With change comes the opportunity for challenge and growth. And, to paraphrase Coach Taylor from "Friday Night Lights" (which I have been binge-watching these past few weeks), with clear eyes and a full heart, I can't lose.
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